Last Vegas

COMEDY

It's Going to Be Legend... Where are we?

7.5 out of 10 | Rental

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Rated: PG-13 Sexual content and language
Release Date: November 1, 2013
Runtime: 1 hour 45 minutes

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Director: Jon Turteltaub
Writers: Dan Fogelman
Cast: Robert De Niro, Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Kline, Mary Steenburgen, Jerry Ferrara, Romany Malco, Michael Ealy, Roger Bart

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SYNOPSIS: Three sixty-something friends take a break from their day-to-day lives to throw a bachelor party in Las Vegas for their last remaining single pal.

REVIEW: National Treasure franchise director Jon Turteltaub ditches his favorite actor Nicolas Cage for some more mature A-listers. Dan Fogelman (Crazy, Stupid, Love.) takes a stab at writing a story centered in Las Vegas that doesn't involve losing time and memory.

Billy (Michael Douglas, Haywire), Paddy (Robert De Niro, The Family), Sam (Kevin Kline, The Conspirator) and Archie (Morgan Freeman, Now You See Me) are lifelong friends who grew up on the streets of Flatbush, Brooklyn, New York, USA, inseparable and thick as thieves. 58 years later, Billy unexpectedly proposes to his 32-year-old girlfriend at his mentors funeral. Deciding on a Las Vegas wedding, Billy calls his best friends to join him. Archie must lie to his son as to his whereabouts. Sam is given a hall pass from his wife in an effort to bring some life back into their marriage. Paddy goes with his friends, reluctant to leave his empty widowers house and reluctant to let go of the beef he has with Billy. Gambling, dancing, drinking, hot girls, and a lounge singer named Diane (Mary Steenburgen, The Help) make the trip fun... and complicated.

This is not the old man version of The Hangover, even though the location is the same. They do call Las Vegas 'Sin City', and it is appropriate for older men to reflect on the regrets in the sense of their past. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas… But can these older gentlemen learn new lessons from their life experiences to make it worthwhile? Morgan's Archie wants to be the man he once was before the stroke made everyone in his life think he was incapable of doing anything at all. Kline's Sam has lived in a marriage with a wife he loves and is comfortable with, but has lost his passion for life. De Niro's Patty sits in his bathrobe and accepts soup from the neighbor girl like a charity case. And Douglas' Billy lives in extravagant life with a young girlfriend, all in an effort to stave away old age.

Filled with geriatric jokes and based on a formulaic plotline, this Vegas tale does manage to amuse throughout. Billy's relationship with his soon-to-be wife is instantly called into question when he swoons over the lounge singer Diane when the quartet arrive at Binion's Casino. From that point forward you know that the wedding probably will be called off at some point. Will Sam find his mojo with some young hottie that will strengthen his marriage? That I will not reveal. And will De Niro's Paddy bury the hatchet with Billy or will he bury the hatchet in him for what he's done to him and his late wife Sophie.?

Do these men still have it? Every one of these actors is a superstar A-Lister. From The Godfather to Basic Instinct to Glory to Dave, these guys still got it. They may be slowing down a few steps but they can still spin a good yarn that entertains both young and old. They poke fun at themselves and each other when it comes to their age, making the film funny for us. Nobody want to see old dudes getting it on with young women but these guys clean up nice and keep everything is PG as possible.

Coupled with Jerry Ferrara and Romany Malco to give Las Vegas a little younger edge, its still Douglas, De Niro, Freeman and Kline who make sure to have the times of their lives. Getting old is not a laughing matter, but they make us want to see what it may be all about.

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Little Fockers

What the Fock?

[Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Owen Wilson, Blythe Danner, Teri Polo, Jessica Alba]

image from boxofficebuz.com

RANT: My housemate wanted to go see Little Fockers. So we went together. Unfortunately, her and I have very different opinions on what we thought of the movie. I guess if everyone had the same opinion about films, we would not have a need for critics!

SYNOPSIS: The Fockers plan for a get-together for the birthday of their 5-year old twins. When Jack Byrnes wants to appoint Greg the successor as the new family patriarch, Greg finds himself buckling under the weight of the responsibility.

Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro and gang return for the third installment of the Gaylord Greg Focker experience. Early trailers did not show Dustin Hoffman, which worried me, but he and Barbra do come back to fill out the Focker parents Bernie and Roz. Teri Polo and Blythe Danner make up the Byrnes legacy of Pam and her mother Dina, along with De Niro's Jack. And Owen Wilson returns as Kevin to yet again pine away for Pam. Even Jinxes the cat make a couple of cameos. Joining in on the fun is Jessica Alba as a pharmaceutical rep, Andi Garcia, with big plans for Greg and his career.

Although director Paul Weitz replaced two time Focker director Jay Roach, the actors and their characters are developed enough that nothing seems amiss as they return to the Focker world. Jack is still as paranoid and distrustful as ever, regardless of the success that Greg has made for Pam and his 5 year old twins. And as always, the Byrnes women stick by their men, knowing what makes them tick. Alba's Andi and Wilson's Kevin play the wild cards, somehow causing Jack to make much ado about nothing.

The situations in this outing are not as outlandish as those in Meet the Parents or Meet the Fockers, but as the franchise matures, so does the subject matter. Even though Jack and Greg continue to face off, it is more about the legacy and family that a man leaves behind and less about the two of them squaring off. Both are the rocks of their families, just in different ways. There are a couple great moments - one involving a children's ball pit and Jaws music, another with Jessica Alba taking a swan dive into a excavated backyard pit, and a third with some erectile dysfunction medication and an epi syringe.

If you enjoyed Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers, you will be interested in how far the Byrnes and Fockers have come with the Little Fockers. But although I laughed out loud more than once, the latest effort still may not live up to the original or the sequel for some.

Worth: Matinee or Netflix

Butter Popcorn Meter

Machete

Just Talkin' 'Bout Machete!

[Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert De Niro, Jeff Fahey, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagel, Don Johnson]

image from calitreview.com

RANT: Labor Day weekend comes and goes. A day trip to Hershey Park accented the official end of Summer. The in-ground pools can now be covered and the BBQs can be cleaned and put away. But we can always put on the pool heater and cook the steaks well into October. Just like film at the cinema, we can always keep Summer (and Summer movies) alive.

SYNOPSIS: Ex-Federale Machete is left for dead by drug cartel boss Torrez. 3 years later, Machete surfaces in Texas as a day laborer, faced with a $150,000 offer to assassinate Texas Senator McLaughlin, who is in favor of building a border wall and deporting all illegal Mexicans.

Robert Rodriguez and cousin Alvaro write and Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis direct the expanded trailer of the same name from the faux coming attractions between the Grindhouse films "Planet Terror" and "Death Proof". So well received as a trailer in 2007, Rodriguez contemplated making "Machete" into a full length feature. And here it is!

For fans of Tarantino and Rodriguez homage films like "Kill Bill: Volume 1" and "Grindhouse", "Machete" will become a welcome edition to those directors' canon of films. "Machete" is Mexploitation at its best! Of course, I guess I would have to find some other 1970s Mexican ass kicker films to put it against. That's okay though, because Shaft, Super Fly, and Black Dynamite ain't got anything on Danny Trejo.

Danny Trejo plays the title character with the classic 1970s tough guy flair. Never changing, Machete is a singularly driven hero archetype. As a ex-Federale, Machete is considered C.I.A, D.E.A. and U.S. Marshall all rolled into one. He pursues justice, even if he has to mow down a thug or two with a large swinging blade.

To match the charisma and machismo of Danny Trejo, Rodriguez has assemble a cadre of villains to confront and confound him. Steven Seagal stars as the mexican drug lord Torrez who kills Machete's wife point blank and stabs and leaves Machete for dead in a burning shack. Don Johnson stars as border vigilante Lt. Stillman, bent on eradicating the infestation that is the Mexican illegals. Recorded on the human hunting expedition with Stillman is Robert De Niro's Senator McLaughlin, anxious to put up a border wall between Texas and Mexico. Jeff Fahey stars as McLaughlin's aide Booth who is more devious than his boss.

Even though Machete is facing insurmountable odds, he is helped by the lovely ICE agent Santana (Jessica Alba), the Mexican underground Network and its leader Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), and his padre brother (Cheech Marin).

Ass-kicking is abound, classic 70s B-movie cinematographic slop cropping is evident, gratuitous nude scenes are expertly inserted at strategic moments (just ask Lindsey Lohan and her onscreen mother June, Alicia Marek) and almost everyone gets their just desserts of burrito justice. Although the story is pure schlock, the subject matter is surprisingly relevant.

Worth: Matinee and DVD (for the fans)

I am also trying out a new rating system shown below based on reader reaction to my somewhat complex monetary rating scale. I will give both ratings and see what kind of reaction I muster. A movie can receive up to 5 popcorn buckets. Why popcorn buckets? Because I am a slave to the thousand + calorie delight! Enjoy!