Red Riding Hood

A Fairy Tale, But Grimm

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Writer: David Johnson

Stars: Amanda Seyfried, Lukas Haas, Gary Oldman, Billy Burke, Virginia Madsen, Max Irons, Julie Christie, Shiloh Fernandez

image from news-leader.com

RANT: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the Regal theater that I frequent in Westbury, NY is installing an IMAX theater which will be operational in April. The bad news is that I was fortunate enough to sit next to a woman today that kindly asked if the movie just started, then proceeded to check her iPhone every 10 minutes throughout the entire film!

SYNOPSIS: Valerie and her fellow townspeople must guard against the attacks of the werewolf that stalks the village at the height of the full "blood" moon.

Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke creates a fantasy tale based on the classic Little Red Riding Hood children's story. Written by Orphan scribe David Johnson, Red Riding Hood, is the current teenage equivalent of the fairy tale. The story is so much a Twilight spin-off, Red Riding Hood could have been a medieval prequel - without the pesky shimmery vampires to contend with.

We follow Valerie (Amanda Seyfried), a young woman with desires to be with with a strapping young woodcutter, Peter (Shiloh Fernandez). Just as they are set to run away together, the village bell sounds for everyone to return the village. They are mortified to find Valerie's older sister murdered by a werewolf that the townsfolk have been placating for 20 years with full moon animal offerings. A search party is formed to track down the wolf and kill it, but the father of Henry (Max Irons), a young man slated to an arranged marriage to Valerie, is killed. Soon Solomon (Gary Oldman), a renowned slayer of witches, wolves and other creatures is dispatched to the town to discover the truth and destroy the beast.

I enjoy my dark fairy tales to remain dark. All of the teenage angst in monster movies these days leaves me cold and empty. Don't get me wrong, every slasher film needs plenty of horny teenagers to fill in the formula. But the classics of werewolves, vampires and mummies are better left to adult sexual tension. Red Riding Hood seems so close in style to Twilight with the forlorn love triangle between Valerie, Peter and Henry, that every scene drips with obvious distracting comparisons. Only the bare ab muscles were left off camera.

Red Riding Hood does have fine moments. First is the sometimes successful cinematography in creating a surreal spooky mood, especially as Valerie walks around the spiked trees and foggy ground on the way to grandmother's house on the edge of the dark forest. Second is the determined hunter that is embodied by Gary Oldman. Valerie's vibrant red cloak stood in stark contrast with the somber, washed out hues of the village, the dark forest and the wolf's lair. Lastly, is the actual mystery that surrounds the town and Solomon's pursuit of the truth. Who is the werewolf? Most of the intrigue in the film rested on following Valerie piecing together the clues as to who the werewolf really was in human form.

Since I am not a diehard fan of the Twilight series (although I continue to see the sequel in hope of a better film), Red Riding Hood did not amaze or fully entertain me. I did not look at my watch to see if the movie was close to being over, but I might have close had it not been for the redeeming acting of Seyfried and Oldman and the overall look of the film.

One final flaw - any medieval period film production should have spent at least a few days trying to find suitable accents for its players. Like The Eagle before it, I lose respect for a movie when everything is so Americanized.

Worth: Netflix

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Drive Angry 3D

Keep Your Hands At Ten and Two

[Nicolas Cage, Amber Heard, William Fichtner, Billy Burke, David Morse]

image from GeekTyrant.com

RANT: My computer is fixed and movie-going is in full swing. March is days away and the first batch of pre-Summer blockbusters is soon upon us. Battle: Los Angeles, Sucker Punch and Rango to name a few. As I have said before, March is the new proving ground for blockbusters that try to beat the Summer heat.

SYNOPSIS: A bad man escapes from Hell's prisons in order to save his infant granddaughter from being sacrificed during the full Moon by a satanic cult.

Horror flick director Patrick Lussier seems to be right at home in three dimension cinema. Making his chops with My Bloody Valentine 3D, Lussier ups his game by shooting Nicolas Cage's new vehicle - no pun intended - using 3D cameras. A typical revenge shoot-em up with plenty of guns, explosions and car chases, the 3D is both novel and excellent. Every kicked up leaf from the tires of a growling muscle car, every blade of tall grass in the foreground, every speck of dust leaps off the screen. Every bullet, hatchet, mangled car part and baseball bat explodes into the audience. 3D had become a joke again after Avatar, but Drive Angry (and Sanctum earlier this season) shows that 3D has a place in cinema.

Aside from the 3D, Drive Angry follows all of the tenets of a typical revenge flick, albeit one where the main character escapes from Hell. Nicolas Cage plays Milton, a man sentenced to an eternity in the prisons of hellfire watching the pain that his actions continue to cause those he holds dear. He comes back to the plane of the living to hunt down the cult leader that killed his daughter and plans to sacrifice his daughter's infant girl to Satan. The gun flights and ammo is plentiful, the car chases squealing and long, the body count high. Everything you want in this genre of film. Even though shot in 3D, Cage's Milton is more one-dimensional. Sure, he is driven and focused, but the connection to him is weak.

On the other hand, the Devil's Accountant (William Fichtner) comes to screen with a calm and cool demeanor. Tasked to chase down Milton, the Accountant imposes himself directly into any situation - from tapping an impaled broken bat handle into a man's shoulder with the other half of the bat, to surfing on a speeding hydrogen tanker truck - he is hilarious and fun to watch. Cult leader Jonah King (Billy Burke) seems like an after thought in comparison. King seems to be more of a plot device to have something for Milton to chase after. Don't get me wrong, Burke does the character justice, but he would definitely be more center stage in a film about Waco. Rounding out the cast is Amber Heard as the new woman in Milton's life, Piper. She's a little spitfire tired of waiting for her life to start, and recognizing Milton as a chance to make a change.

Drive Angry 3D has most of the ingredients to be a fun popcorn action outing. The 3D is outstanding for a film of this type. If you are a fan of good 3D and action, this may be worth your money. Just know that it does not have the finesse of Clive Owen's Shoot 'Em Up, and does not offer anything new from Nicolas Cage's bag of tricks.

Worth: Matinee or Netflix

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