The Lone Ranger

ACTION/ADVENTURE

Riding for Justice

8.5 out of 10 | Movie or DVD

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Rated: PG-13 Sequences of intense action and violence, and some suggestive material
Release Date: July 3, 2013
Runtime: 2 hours 29 minutes

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Director: Gore Verbinski
Writers: Justin Haythe, Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio
Cast: Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, Helena Bonham Carter, Barry Pepper, Willam Fichtner, James Badge Dale, Ruth Wilson, Tom Wilkinson, Harry Treadaway, Lew Temple

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SYNOPSIS:  Native American warrior Tonto recounts the untold tales that transformed John Reid, a man of the law, into a legend of justice.

REVIEW: Director Gore Verbinski became a hard-to-pronounce household name after the success of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. He returns for a much dryer film, trading the vast allure of the oceans for the plains and deserts of Colby, Texas. The retelling of the Lone Ranger is scribed by Justin Haythe (Snitch), and Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio (The Pirates of the Caribbean series), galloping in a different direction for an American born western legend.

John Reid (Armie Hammer, Mirror, Mirror) travels to Colby, Texas as the new county prosecutor. On his train is Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner, Date Night), a wanted Indian hunter who is shackled and being returned to Colby to stand trial. Also in shackles is a Comanche Indian named Tonto (Johnny Depp, Dark Shadows). After Cavendish's gang breaks him out of the train's stock car, Reid and Tonto are thrown together until Reid puts him behind bars in his brother Dan's (James Badge Dale, World War Z) jail. When Dan, John, and six other Texas rangers ride off in pursuit of the escaped Cavindish and his men, an ambush sets Reid onto in a spirit course to Tonto. Both looking for justice - Reid for his brother's murder and Tonto for wrongs from his past - Reid dons a mask as the Lone Ranger to pursue and hunt down Cavindish. What they don't realize is that Cavindish is not the only snake in the hot desert to deal with?

The creative team that created The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise return to rewrite the exploits of one of America's most famous masked cowboys. Spanning decades since its inception, the stories of the Lone Ranger have delighted audiences on radio shows, movie serials, comics, novels, television series and feature films. If you were a young boy of the 40s or 50s, you more than likely donned the black mask of this protector of the innocent. But who is that masked man?

Armie Hammer plays the Lone Ranger as a reluctant hero, a pacifist more comfortable with words than with a six shooter. Swearing justice for his brother, Hammer's Ranger is still willing to let Justice carry the day. It's not until the plot thickens and his brother's wife Rebecca (Ruth Wilson, Anna Karenina) and son Danny (Bryant Prince) are in peril that he dons the black mask for justice and vengeance. Johnny Depp, to his typical method, takes Tonto in a different direction that the familiar faithful servant and companion of the Lone Ranger in the character's previous incarnations. He is a half crazed Comanche outcast more willing to speak to white spirit horses and feed a dead raven on the top of his head then to other people. Even his own tribe has turned their back on him and his obsessive pursuits. The threats that both Reid and Tonto face comes in the form of William Fichtner's Butch Cavendish, a hair lipped and scarred brute who has no qualms about cutting a man's heart out and eating it. Even his own outlaw gang shows him a healthy amount of fear and respect. Tom Wilkinson (Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol) plays Latham Cole, a man who is an employee of the transcontinental railroad and who does whatever he needs to do to get his company's railroad connected to the West Coast in time. Barry Pepper returns from Snitch as Captain Jay Fuller, a Cavarly commander who may have decimated a native tribe for the wrong reasons, and Helena Bonham Carter (Les Misérables) plays the madame of prostitutes who has her own reasons to hate Cavindish. Harry Treadaway (Cockneys vs Zombies) makes an impression as Frank, one of Cavindish's outlaws.

Like with tPotC, Verbinski makes the Lone Ranger into an epic size action-packed Western – untethered by the constraints of practical stunts and squib bursting saloon gunfights. There is plenty of six shooting and repeating rifle battles, and horse chases, and train robberies, but the director uses a lot of CGI to oversize the thrills. Some of the effects are derivatives of Buster Keaton, but other effects are not as seamless as they could have been. From buffaloes to some sequences of the trains, the effects could have been better if they could have used the real thing. I know that is a tall order – especially with the cost of filmmaking – but sometimes the old ways are still the best.

The Lone Ranger is a great reimagining of a classic western hero. It is fun and as over-the-top as it should be for a summertime flick. Depp does a great job as comic relief in the form of the off-center Tonto and Armie Hammer does justice as the blond haired and blue righteous law keeper. Some of the story is true to the genre, becoming predictable for any fans who has watched AMC's Hell on Wheels or Two Mules for Sister Sarah, but it all works out as a fun and enjoyable ride.

"If we ride together, we ride for justice". That line was spoken by the Lone Ranger to Tonto. With a Hi-Ho Silver, Away, the Lone Ranger's white hat and black mask may be just what the summer needs.

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Dark Shadows (2012)

Blood is Thicker than Water

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Rated: PG-13  Language, comic horror violence, sexual content, smoking and some drug use
Release Date: May 11, 2012
Runtime:  1 hr 53 mins

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Director: Tim Burton
Writers: Seth Grahame-Smith, John August, based on the television series created by Dan Curtis
Cast: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, Johnny Lee Miller, Chloe Grace Moretz, Christopher Lee, Alice Cooper

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SYNOPSIS: Barnabas Collins rejects the love of a servant girl witch, resulting in the loss of his parents, his estate, his true love and his mortality. 200 years later the now vampiric Collins escapes a steel coffin tomb to return to the homestead he remembered, still plagued by the curse that affects him and his descendant family.

REVIEW: Tim Burton, director of Alice in Wonderland and Edward Scissorhands, returns with his go to lead actor Johnny Depp for another look at the bizarre and somewhat revolutionary late 1960s supernatural soap serial melodrama Dark Shadows. With its unique blend of Gothic mystery, romance and grim melodrama, the original Dark Shadows became one of the first 'must see' television series, causing many kids and adults to race home to see each episode in an era before DVRs or VCRs. Now, adding their own unique visions, Depp and Burton take a quirky and funny look at the source material that became a cult classic for a generation.

In 1750, Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp, Alice in Wonderland) and his parents moved from Liverpool, England to the wilds of America's Maine coast. Using their know how to build a fishing port, Barnabas' father and mother creates the town of Collinsport and amassed prosperity and wealth for the town and for themselves. As a young adult, Barnabas makes the mistake of spurning the lustful advances of servant girl Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green, The Golden Compass) in favor of his true love Josette DuPres (Bella Heathcote, In Time). Unwilling to relent, the witch Bouchard curses Barnabas in a way that forces Josette to hurl herself to her death from the top of Widow's Peak. Barnabas follows after her, only to discover that he cannot die and has turned into a vampire. Trapped within a iron coffin, Bouchard buries Barnabas to rot in the ground. Nearly 200 years later, in 1972, Barnabas is accidentally released from his claustrophobic confines by construction workers. He finds himself as a strange monster in a strange new world, finally returning to the familiar surroundings of his ancestral estate, Collinwood. Barnabas finds the estate in ruin and the last remaining Collin clan a dysfunctional mess. The dusty and cracking Collinwood remains home to enduring family matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard (Michelle Pfeiffer, New Year's Eve), her budding rebellious daughter Carolyn (Chloe Grace Moretz, Hugo), Elizabeth's scheming brother Roger (Jonny Lee Miller, Endgame), Roger's 10-year-old son David (Gully McGrath, Hugo), a live-in psychiatrist, Dr. Julia Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter, The King's Speech), the long suffering caretaker of Collinwood Willie Loomis (Jackie Earle Haley, Shutter Island), and David's new governess Victoria Winters (Bella Heathcote). Realizing that Barnabas has returned from the grave, literally, the still powerful and now fish cannery successful Angelica turns her seductive charms toward the vampire in an attempt to win his love. Conversely, Barnabas looks to return his family's business, fortune, and family honor, as well as woo Victoria as she reminds him of his lost Josette.

From the start, Burton, his writers Seth Grahame-Smith (the upcoming Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter) and John August (Corpse Bride), and Johnny Depp intended for their version of Dark Shadows to stray a little from the soap opera without sacrificing what the original material included. Still haunting the shores of Collinwood are vampires, ghosts, witches, and a community with its share of deep, dark dramatic secrets. What sets these summer's film apart is the additional sense of whimsy and fun. While Johnny Depp channels Jonathan Frid's always iconic performances of the protagonist blood sucker, Depp added in his own flare of "flowery language" and "vocal style" to the role. As an England-born man who is turned into a vampire and immediately set into a buried grave for 200 years Barnabas finds absurdity all around him as he prowls the streets before returning home to Collinwood. And while he finds strangeness in his surroundings, his new found Collins family finds strangeness in him and his mannerisms, most notably young Carolyn who finds him "weird". While Dark Shadows is not as campy as portrayed in the trailers, the film still lightens itself out the surreal, grim world from which it sprung.

In Dark Shadows, Collinwood is as if it is a character all on its own. Production designer Rick Heinrichs from Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow creates an elaborate and beautiful estate for the Collin characters to interact with. Costume designer Colleen Atwood from Burton's Alice In Wonderland takes a break from the the outlandish regalia of the patron beyond the looking glass to create detailed costumes and capes for Barnabas that are both fresh and familiar. Cinematographer Bruno Delbonnel, under the guidance of Burton, creates a style and look that hearkens back to an earlier era. When Victoria Winters disembarks from the train in Collinsport, and when she first walks up the drive at Collinwood, the faded soft film and the sharp, obtuse angles is reminiscent of many shots from early seventies horror and dramatic films. And Burton retains some classic soap operatic style by framing camera shots in many scenes with Barnabas and Elizabeth delivering their dialogue faced fully and dramatically away from the other.

The look of the film transported me back to the days of miniskirts and free love. The score and song choices of longtime Burton collaborator and composer Danny Elfman did the same. From the always haunting Moody Blues "Nights in White Satin" that starts off the title sequence, to a dinner accompanying Donovan classic "Season of the Witch," to Curtis Mayfield's "Superfly," Elfman's choices epitomize the tone of the film throughout.

Johnny Depp is, well, Johnny Depp! Every role he takes on is an entertaining adventure to watch. With several pale skinned characters to his credit, he does tweak his portrayal of Barnabas Collins enough to make the part feel original and set it apart from the likes of the Mad Hatter and Edward Scissorhands. Captain Jack Sparrow does bubble under the surface a bit with Depp's use of an English accent, albeit, a clear voice you can understand. Pfieffer is radiant, strong and proud in her role as Elizabeth Collins. Chloe Grace Moretz, one of my favorite young actresses, channels in perfect pitch the troubled, angst-ridden teenager that just wants to come of age and move to New York to live life on her own term. Jackie Earle Haley, a versatile performer, takes on the drunkard curmudgeon of Willie Loomis with relish. The witch of the hour, Eva Green's Angelique, is a beautiful porcelain facade that provides a shell for a lustful emptiness that twists into a devoted vengeance against Barnabas. Helena Bonham Carter's Dr. Hoffman is a sassy, alcoholic psychiatrist fascinated by Barnabas and worried about her own mortality. And Bella Heathcote plays her duel roles of the 18th Century Josette and the haunted nanny trying to escape her past and find a place to belong with equal grace.

Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, and the rest of the cast deliver a quirky and fun version of the cult classic long-running soap serial melodrama that had people of the day rushing home to watch each episode - years before Lost ever hit the airwaves. If you like Burton and Depp, then you would be remiss in passing on this new Dark Shadows. Clever, 70s cool, lightly dramatic with a touch of whimsy, Dark Shadows will entertain even if Barnabas's hypnotic gaze does not enthrall.

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WORTH:  Matinee or DVD

21 Jump Street

Vulgar and Hilarious

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Rated: R  Drug material, crude and sexual content, pervasive language, some violence and teen drinking
Release Date: March 16, 2012
Runtime: 1 hr 50 mins

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Director:  Phil Lord, Chris Miller

Writers: Michael Bacall, Jonah Hill, based on the television series created by Patrick Hasburgh and Stephen J. Cannell
Cast:  Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Rob Riggle, DeRay Davis, Ice Cube, Chris Parnell, Ellie Kemper

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SYNOPSIS: A pair of over enthusiastic and underachieving are demoted to a defunct police program where they are sent undercover as high school students to discover the source of a synthetic drug ring.

REVIEW: From Phil Lord and Chris Miller, the directors of the soon-to-be classic Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (Am I kidding? You be the judge), takes a shot at their first big-screen non-animated adventure. Based on a script and story by Michael Bacall (Project X) and Jonah Hill, and sourced from Stephen J. Cannell and Patrick Hasburgh's 1980s Fox television series of the same name, will 21 Jump Street be a bulls eye or miss the mark entirely?

Insecure geek Schmidt (Jonah Hill, The Sitter) and slacker jock Jenko (Channing Tatum, The Vow) graduate high school without going to prom. Schmidt didn't have a date and Jenko was barred from attending. A few years later, they find themselves face to face again as they both sign up for the Metropolitan City Police Department academy. Schmidt excels at the paperwork, while Jenko uses his muscles and athletics to overcome the obstacle course and shooter ranges. Knowing they can't graduate without the expertise of the other, they team up to get to graduation. Their dreams of car chases, gun fights, and explosions are short-lived as they are assigned to bicycle patrol. When their first bust goes without Miranda and the perp is set free, Deputy Chief Hardy (Nick Offerman, Parks and Recreation) demotes the pair to a revived cancelled undercover program due to their youthful appearance headquartered at 21 Jump Street. After a drug-related death of a high school student, Captain Dickson (Ice Cube, Lottery Ticket) assigns Schmidt and Jenko to go undercover as brothers in the same high school to root out the drug's dealers and supplier. Because of a screw-up, Schmidt is put into the breeze classes like Drama and Photography, while Jenko is put into AP Chemistry. Along the way, Schmidt finds himself out of his element as he cozies up to the popular Eco-cool crowd with Eric (Dave Franco, Fright Night) and Molly (Brie Larson, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World). Jenko has the same issues while running with the geek squad including members like Zack (Dax Flame, Project X).

If you are looking for the 1987 Fox television series 21 Jump Street that you grew up on, or watched in syndication, you will be both pleased and disappointed. Sure, cops with young-ish looks are thrust into undercover work at the high school level. The tone of the film is completely different from the TV series, leaning to the vulgar and the hilarious over actual dramatic substance. In fact, while keeping with some of the same concepts as from the show, the writers (including Jonah Hill) actually poke fun at those same concepts as well. A cool classic car is included, but Deputy Chief Hardy makes a funny and obvious reference to old retreaded ideas, and chemistry teacher Ms. Griggs (Ellie Kemper, Bridesmaids) and Mr. Walters (Rob Riggle, Big Miracle) have obvious reactions to Jenko's chiseled muscle presence.

Jonah Hill brings his signature style to the role of Schmidt, channeling a bit of Superbad and The Sitter. He's fun to watch, with good comic timing and hilarious wide-eyed expressions. Channing Tatum flexes his comedy muscles as Jonah's athletic straight man, surprising me with his likability beyond his romantic and dramatic efforts. Dave Franco, younger brother to James Franco, carves his own path as the shark-smiled snark drug dealer who, unlike many of his brother's stoner roles, does not use his own product. Riggle tries to be the mature one as one of the teachers, voluming down his manic nature a notch or two. Also notable is Ice Cube's Captain Dickson who embraces the angry African American police captain stereotype.

21 Jump Street is a hilarious farce that pays homage to the Stephen J. Cannell source material. Typical genre stereotypes are embraced or put on end. Throughout the film, laughter follows hilarious disgust and funny prat falls. Filled with phallic references, dry humping, coarse language and some nudity, fans of The Hangover and the American Pie series will be doubling over in laughter at this re-envisioned take of the original. As evident from the trailer, even Holly Robinson Peete makes an appearance with a reprised role of Officer Judy Hoffs.  

21 Jump Street is a great enjoyable surprise. I knew from the trailers that it was angling for action comedy over young action drama, but I left the theater with a smile on my face and good things to say. The R rating is warranted and proves that the film is not for the youngest of crowds, but even those kids who managed to get into the audience enjoyed Hill on the high school stage in tights and wires. 21 Jump Street is not what we remember from 1987, and is better for it. I wonder when the Richard Grieco Booker movie is scheduled to come out to the silver screen?

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WORTH: Matinee and DVD

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides 3D

Did Pirates 4 Miss The Boat?

Director: Rob Marshall

Writers: Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Stuart Beattie, Jay Wolpert, Tim Powers

Stars: Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane, Kevin McNally, Sam Claflin, Astrid Berges-Frisbey

SYNOPSIS: Captains Jack Sparrow and Barbosa quest for the elusive Fountain of Youth, only to discover that the notorious pirate Blackbeard and a Spanish armada are after its secrets too.

Johnny Depp single-handedly ignited the enduring Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. But to early chagrin of Disney's brass, Jack Sparrow may not have existed at all. But the first film surged forward with sails full to create a winning pirate experience with the coloned Curse of the Black Pearl. Where the first film was substance and frivolity with a wisp of renegade rogue, Dead Man's Chest and At World's End became simple spectacles and forced along a story that for some reason needed to be told and wrapped up.

Now, Rob Marshall, director of Nine, Chicago and, most importantly, the period film Memoirs of a Geisha, comes in with an original new direction concept from the Tim Powers novel "On Stranger Tides". Gone, somewhat for the better are Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley and much of the swash-buckling original trilogy cast, allowing for Captain Jack Sparrow to spread his wings again. Of course, former nemesis Barbosa is back, but they both face a greater threat in Ian McShane's Blackbeard and Penelope Cruz' sexy and exotic Angelica, Blackbeard's daughter and Sparrow interest.

As always, Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow brings an unfurled physical presence to the film. From the beginning, as he impersonates a London judge with robes and powdered wig in order to break Gibbs (Kevin McNally) out of a trip to the gallows, my hopes for On Stranger Tides were as high as the Black Pearl's crow's nest. And with the reintroduction of a now-peg legged Barbosa (Geoffrey Rush) working as a privateer for King George and Sparrow's daring escape from the King's palace through the streets of London, I spied a hint of the Pirates of the Caribbean roots.

In keeping with the themes of piracy, swashbuckling sword fights, mystical artifacts and exotic locations, On Stranger Tides has everything going for it. But one glaring omission from the original trilogy is the levity that the supporting cast brought to the helm. From Ragetti and Pintel to the King's bumbling Redcoats, the first film made us laugh in all the right spots, allowing Jack Sparrow to be hilarious with just his presence, muddled speech and quirky demeanor. In On Stranger Tides, Johnny Depp is the center of the film again, but is weighed down with the anchor of responsibility to entertain us, make us laugh, and more. Even the unflappable Captain Jack Sparrow may not be up for that challenge.

Angelica (Penelope Cruz) is an interesting foil for Sparrow, both keeping him at bay and keeping him docked near her. At the end of it all, you never get a sense of his feelings for her - but maybe that is the mystery that is Jack Sparrow. Better is the relationship between the mermaid Syrena (Astrid Berges-Frisbey) and the cleric Philip (Sam Claflin), a man, like Orlando Bloom's Will Turner, struggling to keep the righteous path while trying to save Syrena at all costs. Ian McShane's Blackbeard is slated as the ultimate evil pirate, but other than one instance of killing a man so that the rest of the crew remembers that he is not to be trifled with, he seems more a haunted, selfish man in search of youth than a bastion of carnage and chaos.

The 3D is beautiful, both used to great effect for deepening every scene and used for a few classic 3D sight gags. The scenes where Blackbeard's men attempt to capture a mermaid includes gorgeous finned women and a great action sequence. Marshall flies us through the exotic lush locales, bringing a vibrancy that the earlier films had eventually forgotten in favor of darker, wetter, salty fare. On Stranger Tides takes the franchise in a new direction, for better or worse, working the Fountain of Youth storyline well into the Jack Sparrow fabric. Sometimes its all about the journey, as Jack Sparrow says. But the journey is a little long and the pirates' booty at the end of the dashed path is really only half-full.

WORTH: Matinee and Blu-Ray (for the diehard fan)

Rango

There's A New Chameleon In Town

[Johnny Depp, Isla Fisher, Abigail Breslin, Stephen Root, Ned Beatty, Bill Nighy]

image from BeyondHollywood.com

RANT: Today was an odd day. I did get to the gym early enough so that I would have time for breakfast and getting a good seat at the theater. I did get breakfast at 11am just when McDonald's was changing the menu boards. But my housemate met me for her Bacon, Egg and Cheese Bagel and we chatted until 11:30, which changed my arrival to the theater. Once in the theater, I was forced to switch seats four times to 1) escape bad angles to the screen, 2) escape kids kicking the back of my chair, and 3) get away from a seat that was being saved for someone.

SYNOPSIS: A chameleon falls out of the back of a car - and into the Mohave desert - where he comes upon a Wild West town with residents in need of hope, a sheriff and water.

Director of the first Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, Gore Verbinski reteams with his Captain Jack Sparrow actor Johnny Deep to use his voice talents as a chameleon looking for adventure - and finding more than he bargained for in a Wild West town in the Mohave desert.

Writers John Logan, Gore Verbinski and James Ward Byrkit bring animation to the Wild West, and the classic western to animation. But serving Rango as an homage to the best of the genre is only the beginning. Sure, Shane, Blazing Saddles, and Clint Eastwood's Man With No Name films are cited or intertwined into the tale, but Gore Verbinski introduces other films to Rango as well. The trained (and untrained) eye will see Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Star Wars: A New Hope, Deliverance, Transformers, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - even The Day of the Triffids - somewhere along the tale. What results is pure pleasure and excitement!

Every character is so detailed and rich, every western film stereotype turned into something both recognizable and mesmerizing. In some cases, the character type is more quickly apparent then the desert creature playing it. From Alfred Molina's portrayal of a roadkill armadillo channeling Don Quixote to Bill Nighy's classic black hat honor-bound villain Rattlesnake Jake; from Ned Beatty's corrupt aged turtle politician to Isla Fisher's pure, tough, but naive lizard Ms. Beans; from Stephen Root's spot-on work with several western characters to Abigail Breslin's pig-tailed opossum child Priscilla hanging onto the hope of a strange new sheriff - every portrayal is captivating.

And as rich and detailed the characters, even more so is every plank, every dusty bottle hanging from a mobile, every grain of sand blowing through the dried out town. Every camera shot invokes classic western sensibilities, infuses modern action techniques like slow motion, humor or awe. Everything that Verbinski has learned is poured into this film.

Some of the humor is directed to children as deftly as a close range revolver shot, some more general and widespread like a shotgun blast of buckshot. When asked what name he goes by, Rango responds with avatars, pen names, and boasting one of the few men with a maiden name.

If you love westerns, go see Rango. If you love all of Johnny Depp's offbeat work, go see Rango. If you love well-crafted animation, go see Rango. If you love good cinema, definitely go see Rango!

Worth: Matinee and Blu-Ray

Butter Popcorn Meter

The Tourist

Look for a Domestic Destination Instead

[Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Paul Bettany, Steven Berkoff, Timothy Dalton]

image from daemonsmovies.com

RANT: Today, an old man and his wife were in the theater. It was very touching to see the man take his wife from her wheelchair to the theater seat, put her drink in the armrest holder and cover her with the blanket they had brought with them from home. I could only imagine the richness of their lives together up to today.

SYNOPSIS: Elise Ward is the subject of a police investigation. As she trains to Venice, she selects Frank Tupelo, a math teacher from Wisconsin, as a diversion in order to reconnect with her criminal lover.

Screenplay writer and director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck brings Venice alive with this cat and mouse tale. All of the elements were in place with the story, the exotic locales and a top notch cast to be a hell of a ride. Unfortunately, even with Depp, Jolie and Bettany, The Tourist should have stayed home.

Angelina Jolie is sultry sexy and Johnny Depp is at his bumbling best. But even though Jolie's eyes could smolder a hole through a man, the chemistry between Depp and her is tenuous at best. Depp's character, Frank Tupelo, is a math teacher from Wisconsin targeted by Jolie's Elise Ward during the high-speed train to Venice. Elise uses Frank for his similar build to her long-missing criminal lover, Alexander Piers, in order to distract and confuse the investigators, led by Paul Bettany's Inspector John Acheson, who are running surveillance on Elise once in Venice. Add to that intrigue British drug lord Reginald Shaw who surrounds himself with Russian mercenaries bent on capturing Alexander Piers in order to get his stolen money back.

For a suspenseful cat and mouse drama, there needs to be the chance of failure or pain. Since Reginald Shaw directs his men to not harm the mistakenly targeted Tupleo, every bribe, every boat chase through the canals of Venice, every near miss is really just a shadow of effort. We also are certain that the beautiful Jolie will not be harmed, hurt or disfigured in The Tourist (nothing like Salt) since she is far too valuable as the porcelain doll that she is. Bettany brings a tired intensity as the long pursuing Inspector John Acheson. Berkoff somewhat relies on the Reginald Shaw reputation for murdering entire families (even the dog if it suits him), although he does get his hands dirty a little bit.

Although I had high hopes for this film - despite the critics' reviews - I have to side with the general consensus. Venice and Jolie are exquisite and Depp is ever fun to watch, but all together there is just not enough luggage to make it worth the trip.

Worth: Netflix

Butter Popcorn Meter

Alice In Wonderland

Curiouser and Curiouser

[Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Mia Wasikowska, Anne Hathaway]

If you remember my review of "Shutter Island", I may have let you know that if you were a Scoreses fan, that film was not your typical fare from that director. Of course, the same does not apply to Tim Burton films. If you are a fan, then, by all means, go see his latest work.

SYNOPSIS:  Alice has grown up with nightmares of a place with talking animals, queens and edibles that allow you to become big or small. Now a young adult on the day of a lord's proposal to her, she runs away after a waist-coated rabbit, falling through the rabbit hole and into Underland. 

With all of the new tricks of movie-making at his disposal, Tim adds his Burtonesque touches to the classic Lewis Carroll tales of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass". These stories have been made many times, into movies, spin-off books, comics, Sci-Fi Originals, and more. There is a blend to the film that takes the groundwork of Carroll and adds additional character development and some of the new ideas already seen in more recent tellings of the Alice story.

I have always been partial to Norman McLeod's 1933 version of the story. As a child on a late Saturday morning, I watched the black and white Alice wander through a grotesque, magical land, transfixed by the sheer lunacy of it all. I gather watching this film as a 7-year old would be the equivalent of being stoned as a teenager. I only have the former as a tangible gage, of course. Burton's version, though, is more spectacle than substance (or substance abuse). 

As he does so well in all of work, Tim Burton does not disappoint our optic sense. He is no stranger to strange environments, from "Edward Scissorhands" to "Sleepy Hollow" to "The Corpse Bride". His latest film is in gorgeous color, the human characters in realistic anatomical distortion, the animal characters stylized to the point of absurdity. All of these traits are perfect, especially if you are adapting a Wonderland story. But as the 1933 film captured my imagination as a child, the 2010 version can only warmed me as simple entertainment. I am definitely not jaded (see exhibit A for "Avatar") and am not trying to lessen the depth of what Burton has brought to the screen, but I think Burton's dementia may be becoming too mainstream.

Speaking of mainstream, that can especially be said for Johnny Depp. Once the source of much worry by studio executives, he is now the Golden Goose. His portrayal of the Mad Hatter is definitely mad, but frustrated instead of insane. The story gives us the "why" of his madness, and it fits. The other big names in the film, Anne Hathaway and Helena Bonham Carter, bring to their regal roles new quirkiness. Mia Wasikowska fits the Alice namesake well and, in some regards, upstages the other Wonderlanders with her subtle, sane direction.  But even wth all of this, my personal favorite was the Cheshire Cat... but who can resist a smiling feline who evaporates into air and has a "what will be, will be" attitude.

The film is worth a look if you a Burton fan, and the kids may get a kick out of it for its talking furry hares and rabbits, and sword-wielding mice. But on my journey back down the rabbit hole, drinking the potion makes you tiny, eating the cake makes you tall, and believing the advertising makes your wallet lighter.

One final note, if you don't "need" to see the movie in 3D, go ahead and save yourself a couple of bucks!

Worth: Matinee or DVD