Machete

Just Talkin' 'Bout Machete!

[Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert De Niro, Jeff Fahey, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagel, Don Johnson]

image from calitreview.com

RANT: Labor Day weekend comes and goes. A day trip to Hershey Park accented the official end of Summer. The in-ground pools can now be covered and the BBQs can be cleaned and put away. But we can always put on the pool heater and cook the steaks well into October. Just like film at the cinema, we can always keep Summer (and Summer movies) alive.

SYNOPSIS: Ex-Federale Machete is left for dead by drug cartel boss Torrez. 3 years later, Machete surfaces in Texas as a day laborer, faced with a $150,000 offer to assassinate Texas Senator McLaughlin, who is in favor of building a border wall and deporting all illegal Mexicans.

Robert Rodriguez and cousin Alvaro write and Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis direct the expanded trailer of the same name from the faux coming attractions between the Grindhouse films "Planet Terror" and "Death Proof". So well received as a trailer in 2007, Rodriguez contemplated making "Machete" into a full length feature. And here it is!

For fans of Tarantino and Rodriguez homage films like "Kill Bill: Volume 1" and "Grindhouse", "Machete" will become a welcome edition to those directors' canon of films. "Machete" is Mexploitation at its best! Of course, I guess I would have to find some other 1970s Mexican ass kicker films to put it against. That's okay though, because Shaft, Super Fly, and Black Dynamite ain't got anything on Danny Trejo.

Danny Trejo plays the title character with the classic 1970s tough guy flair. Never changing, Machete is a singularly driven hero archetype. As a ex-Federale, Machete is considered C.I.A, D.E.A. and U.S. Marshall all rolled into one. He pursues justice, even if he has to mow down a thug or two with a large swinging blade.

To match the charisma and machismo of Danny Trejo, Rodriguez has assemble a cadre of villains to confront and confound him. Steven Seagal stars as the mexican drug lord Torrez who kills Machete's wife point blank and stabs and leaves Machete for dead in a burning shack. Don Johnson stars as border vigilante Lt. Stillman, bent on eradicating the infestation that is the Mexican illegals. Recorded on the human hunting expedition with Stillman is Robert De Niro's Senator McLaughlin, anxious to put up a border wall between Texas and Mexico. Jeff Fahey stars as McLaughlin's aide Booth who is more devious than his boss.

Even though Machete is facing insurmountable odds, he is helped by the lovely ICE agent Santana (Jessica Alba), the Mexican underground Network and its leader Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), and his padre brother (Cheech Marin).

Ass-kicking is abound, classic 70s B-movie cinematographic slop cropping is evident, gratuitous nude scenes are expertly inserted at strategic moments (just ask Lindsey Lohan and her onscreen mother June, Alicia Marek) and almost everyone gets their just desserts of burrito justice. Although the story is pure schlock, the subject matter is surprisingly relevant.

Worth: Matinee and DVD (for the fans)

I am also trying out a new rating system shown below based on reader reaction to my somewhat complex monetary rating scale. I will give both ratings and see what kind of reaction I muster. A movie can receive up to 5 popcorn buckets. Why popcorn buckets? Because I am a slave to the thousand + calorie delight! Enjoy!